Barely two weeks into the this new government and we’ve got our first dose of scandal. And what’s more it’s a sex scandal. You’re probably about as surprised as I am, that is to say, not very.

There’s little surprising about the scandal — a prominent cabinet member paid to rent rooms in houses owned by his long-term partner, who is of the same gender.

The lone surprising thing is the minister in question is David Laws — a Lib Dem, and one of their most prominent faces during the Lib-Con negotiations, and in the media since the tortured but oddly happy, little conjoined twin of a government came rasping into existence.

As part of the evilest looking economic team in the history of British politics he has overseen the slashing of £6 billion in public spening: Tangenting for a second I’d like to put that amount into some sort of vague jingoistic perspective: 6 millions seconds = 9 days; 6 billion seconds = 198 years. Coincidentally that’s probably when we’ll be just about recovering from this monumental economic prolapse.

If it was any other minister, following the pyroclastic fallout from the catastrophic expenses fuckery, he’d be out by now, as opposed to just outed, as is the current state of play.

Laws claims he did it to hide his sexuality, and that story kind of stands-up. He lived with his partner while renting a room to subvert prying eyes. Except, whose are these prying eyes? Laws was a no one until the coalition popped up. What kind of front page splash is that?

OBSCURE LIB-DEM MP IS A HOMOSEXUAL

Oh really? Wow. It probably wouldn’t even make the front page of Law’s constituency newspaper, the Yeovil Express. He’s made it now though.

Neither does it make sense that he felt it salient to pay the rent out of his parliamentary expenses. As a multi-millionaire he could have comfortably paid the money himself.  Granted this might have raised eyebrows among his parliamentary compatriots. “Your paying your own rent dear boy? Why ever bother, that’s what the public are for.” But it would take an extraordinary logical jump, or investigative skills comparable to Monk, to infer his sexuality from that fact.

Laws, a former investment banker, left the fiercely homophobic city climate years ago, and would risk relatively little personal damage in coming out.

A gay in parliament? And what? Most of them are aren’t they? And nobody gives a stuff.

At best he’s a coward. At worst he’s a liar and fraud.

I dare say he’ll stay, because a) he knows what he’s actually doing when it comes to economics b) this sickly government can’t afford a blow this heavy in the opening rounds of its tenure and c) there is a general will to see him stay — I, for one, hope he does.

Related articles

• Minister David Laws’ claim for renting the spare room in partner’s flat (telegraph.co.uk)
• You: Laws to repay £40,000 expenses (guardian.co.uk)
• David Laws: what should happen next? (libdemvoice.org)
• Any Lib-Con team can’t last. But it would be fun to watch | Fraser Nelson (guardian.co.uk)